Phase Downhill From Here

A few days ago my dad picked up the phone at my house in El Paso and asked what to do with it, I heard my mom telling him to say "Hi" in the background, he hung it up. Then I heard him asking how to get to my sister's house, which is two houses down from my parents and has been for 10 years. Last night, I asked to talk to my dad on the phone and he had absolutely no idea who I was, the heartbreak begins. I always thought once he forgot who I was, it was really over. When I was in high school, we went to visit his mother, my grandmother, who was in a nursing home, full-blown Alzheimer's, but still happy. We sat on the bed as my dad cried, big, huge tear droplets while lamenting the loss of his mother "I wish she knew who I was, I wish I could express my love and she would know it's from her son". I never thought I would be in his place, but here I am.

So I think it can't get any worse, I have felt fatherless for some years now. I've adopted older, influential men in my life as my new fathers, I have lots of them and I love them each in very unique ways. But this was different, the end was truly near. Then my niece sends me a text asking me if I heard what happened to my momma yesterday. I immediately call my mom to find out. Apparently at lunch time, my dad got up from the table and looked out the window and asked "Sabes donde esta Rosa?". My mom is named Rosa and she was sitting at the table right behind him. "She's probably out with friends" he answered himself. The craziness continues and I'm not there to see it or help. I picked the wrong year to go home. I should have moved back to El Paso this year, but I didn't and now I have to just wait from 600 miles away for the eminent downhill from here.